The Language
In this section we take a light hearted look at the colourful language that has developed in the Swartland, and give you an insight into the words and phrases that can get you into and out of trouble when visiting the region. Many of these terms are also used outside the region, so if traveling to other parts of the country it will also help to learn a bit of Swartlandish.
- Ag. This one of the most useful words in the Swartland. Pronounced like the "ach" in the German "achtung", it can be used to start a reply when asked a tricky question, as in: "Ag, I don't know which of your wines I like best." Ag can also convey a sense of resignation: "Ag, I'll have some more Rayas with my dinner, the Beaucastel seems to overpower the food." "Ag" can also stand alone as a signal of irritation.
- Bakkie. This is a small truck, or pick-up. Pronounced "bucky", this iconic word is the essential item for any farmer in the Swartland. To be respected, one should not be caught driving anything other than a Toyota or Izuzu bakkie, and it should always have a layer of mud or dust caking the side panels of the body. To the casual observer, this dirty look might appear to be a macho thing, but in reality it is used to indicate which part of the Swartland you come from, as the soils of the different areas are different shades of brown.
- Braai. A braai is probably the first thing you will be invited to when you make friends with a South African. It is a backyard barbecue that is the cornerstone of Swartland cuisine. Once a date is set, a braai will always take place, even if the weather turns really bad. At a braai you will be introduced to foods such as wors (traditional sausage), tjops (lamb chops), and mieliepap (the South African version of Polenta). Being a truly hospitable region, when invited to a Swartland braai, one is traditionally not expected to bring anything. If however one is invited to a "tjop en ‘n dop", it is understood that one brings one's own meat and drink.
- Donner. This word comes from the Afrikaans "donder" (thunder). Pronounced "dorner", it means "beat up." The Springbok rugby team is well known for donnering it's opponents.
- Eina. Widely used by all language groups, this word, derived from Afrikaans, means "ouch." Pronounced "aynah", one shouts it out when (for example) being donnered in a rugby match, or one can use it in sympathy when someone else burns their fingers on a hot potato at a braai.
- Hey. Often used at the end of a sentence to emphasise the importance of what has just been said, it can also stand alone as a question. Instead of saying "excuse me?" or "pardon?" when you have not heard something directed at you, you can ask: "Hey?"
- Howzit. This universal South African greeting is short for "How's it going?" In the Swartland, "Howzit" can evolve into "Yes-yes" when meeting with somebody you know particularly well, or have already said Howzit to on a given day. When driving a bakkie in the Swartland it is very important to say howzit to everybody else driving a bakkie by suptly lifting one or more fingers off the top of the steering wheel when driving by.
- Isit? More of a statement than a true question, "isit?" is commonly used in Swartland conversations. Derived from the two words "is" and "it", this phrase can be employed when one has nothing to contribute to a conversation. When for instance, someone says at a braai: "The Russians will only succeed in their bid for capitalism once they adopt a work ethic and respect for private equity", it is appropriate to respond by saying: "Isit?" The Afrikaans equivalent of this phrase is "Janee", a combination of the two words "ja" (yes) and "nee" (no).
- Jawelnofine. This is another conversation fallback, when one has nothing to add, and in fact would like to end the topic of conversation. Derived from the four words "yes", "well", "no" and "fine", it roughly means "how about that." If somebody tells you your wine is bitter, you should reply: "Jawelnofine."
- Jislaaik. Pronounced "Yis-like", it is an expression of astonishment. For instance, If someone really likes your wine, their comment will often be "Jislaaik, that's a lekker wine."
- Lekker. An Afrikaans word meaning nice, this word is used by all language groups to express approval. If a wine is described "Lekkerrr!" while drawing out the last syllable, it is particularly good.
- Mrs Balls. We don't know if the lady ever existed, but if she did she has earned a place of honour in South African kitchen history for her brand of Chutney. Chutney is of course pickled fruit prepared with vinegar, spices and sugar. South Africans are known to eat it with absolutely everything, and it is the leading factor in the love for sweetness in South African cuisine.
- Now Now (and Just Now). In much of the outside world, this is a comforting phrase. For instance: "Now now my Son, don't cry. I'll take you to watch the rugby next week." But in South Africa, "Now Now" means a little sooner than soon: "The grapes will be at the cellar now now" means they will arrive a little bit sooner than "just now" which means an indefinite time in the future.
- Robot. The local name for a traffic light. To the best of our knowledge, there are only three robots in the Swartland, all found in the main road of Malmesbury.
- Rock up. To rock up somewhere is to arrive unannounced. If you don't make an appointment or tell anyone you are coming - you just rock up. Friends are welcome to rock up for a visit, and this will often turn into a braai, but one has to be selective about it. You can't just rock up for a winetasting in the middle of harvest. You phone first to make an appointment - then you can rock up.
- Pant. A welcome shortening of the long and tiresome word "Pants". Can be used to shorten the nouns "long pants", "short pants", or "trouser pants". Confusingly it is used to lengthen "jeans" to "jean-pant", as in the welcome compliment: "Jislaaik, you make a jean-pant look good".
- Pasop. From the Afrikaans phrase meaning "Watch Out", this warning is used and heeded by all language groups. As in: "Chris hasn't had his morning coffee yet, so pasop." Sometimes just the word "pasop!" is enough without further explanation. Everyone knows it sets out a line in the sand not to be crossed.
- Sarmie. Very simply, this is a sandwich.
- Skop, Skiet en donner. Literally "kick, shoot and thunder" in Afrikaans, this phrase was originally used to describe action movies, but today is used for anything that is lively and somewhat primal. Clint Eastwood is always good for a bit of skop, skiet en donner.
- Tekkies. Pronounced "Tackies", these are sneakers or running shoes. The word is also used to describe car tyres. "Fat tackies" are big tyres, as in: "Where did you get those lekker fat tackies on your bakkie, hey?"
- Tune grief. To be tuned grief is to aggravate or harass. Be selective about using the term. For example, if your cork supplier delivers a faulty batch of corks, it is okay to tune him grief. If however a wine critic does not favourably review your wine, it is unwise to tune them grief, lest they return the favor.
- Vrot. Pronounced "frot". A wonderful word which means "rotten" in Afrikaans, it is used by all language groups to describe anything they really don't like. Most commonly it describes fruit or vegetables that are starting to decay, but a pair of takkies worn a few times too often can be termed vrot by unfortunate folk in the same room as the wearer. Also a rugby player who misses important tackles can be said to have played a vrot game - but not to his face, lest he donner you. Taking this one step further, there are several winemakers in the Swartland who used to play high level rugby, so it is wise to think twice before using the term vrot in the same sentence as their wine...